Relationships And Processing The Feedback

Relationships and How to Process The “Valuable Feedback”

I had an interesting question about relationships come up a few weeks ago from a student.

They asked the question in the classic and thinly veiled “my friend John” frame, where they said…

“A friend of mine is having a strange experience in their relationship where they are aware that they are being unnecessarily irritable with their partner whilst also being flirtatious and attracted to a work colleague, what advice would I give and how can they shake it off?”

Now “shake it off” is not a very effective way of dealing with anything.

Simply to “shake it off” is really a covert way of saying how can they suppress, ignore and avoid it.

Shake It Up NOT Shake It Off

It suggests we only acknowledge it and deal with it, as it is, in the superficial surface structure form it presents itself in and then just brush it away, sweep it under the carpet, drop it and run, whilst trying our very best to ignore it, deny it and never think of it again!!

Our behaviours are just the external feedback that allows us to acknowledge our internal feelings and our feelings are the internal feedback that give us the insights into the symbolic meaning of our conscious and unconscious thinking.

The form our initial external feedback presents itself in, may take a few moments, hours, days or even weeks to fully understand the symbolic meaning, what’s it’s purpose? What truly is the problem?

So best we hold onto it, just long enough to work out what it really means, so that you know what you can then do to resolve it.

Relationships – Feedback – What Does it all Mean

Relationships FeedbackIt may mean…

That there are fundamental issues in your current relationship and at a deep unconscious level your values are not being met!

That would be handy to know and understand, is it a “must have” or a “nice to have”.

And then ultimately communicate your realisations, wants needs and desires to your partner so that they could have the opportunity to do something about it!

Either change how they are in the relationship or to at least acknowledge they are unable to or unwilling to change.

It could mean….

That you have your own fears, doubts, concerns, negative association and limitations as to your own lovability.

You fear the risk or repeating old failed patterns, the over bearing responsibility of messing it up and failing AGAIN!

This maybe being triggered by a current situation, a symbolic next step in the hierarchy of commitment! getting engaged, buying a house, planning the wedding, having a child…. etc.

Again handy to know and as you can see, a whole different interpretation and wisdom for you to create a strategy around action steps for resolution.

It could also easily mean…..

That you are not ready!

They are not right for you!

You are not right for them!

Maybe even the simple fact is there is more reward and benefits that you get from playing the field and thinking of yourself as a highly desirable creature and stud muffin.

I could go on because there will be a limitless number of other unique meanings that could be important for you to understand and acknowledge so as to continue on your path of personal evolution.

Use the Feedback to Grow and Evolve

Relationships forever will grow, change and evolve!

Pay attention and be willing to be pro-active and not reactive, be willing to take the feedback and distil it down to understanding what’s right for you.

whatever the meaning, whatever the thoughts and feelings it’s all good as it is simply there to help guide you to a better understand of yourself and others.